You know how sometimes you meet someone and it just seems that no matter what they do, they always land on their feet? My uncle is one of those types of people. Always has been, always will be.
I have lost count of the amount of times over the many years I’ve known him that he has had a great stroke of luck just when he needed it most. But this one just takes the biscuit! This is a man who hasn’t got the faintest idea about strategies, common sense or even the simplest form of money management. I used to play poker against him, often from 6 to 10 hours at a time, and despite him having virtually no idea about the game whatsoever, he nearly always won. He is just a jammy git I suppose.
Just a few weeks ago he told me he was going to have a go at some online casinos. Quite what he meant by that I don’t know. I did ask him, and he didn’t seem to know either. He just said he fancied a gamble, and I know from experience that when he says something like this it is like Lady Luck is whispering in his ear to go and throw some money away somewhere so she can throw it back with interest!
Well just the other day he turns up at my house for a cup of, dressed in his old Hells Angels gear. He wasn’t driving his beaten up old car, he was driving his shiny new motorbike. Not a brand-new motorbike, a secondhand deal that he no doubt got a bargain on, but a new motorbike to him at least. He then began to tell me yet another of his stories which, if anyone else was telling me I would call them a few names suggesting they are talking out of the wrong end, but not in John’s case, I just knew this was about to be the most incredible yet completely true story I had heard for some time.
He signed up to Winner casino after I gave him a nice deposit bonus code by email, as well as giving him my personal quick review of the best UK casinos. He didn’t have any plan on what he was going to play, or how he was going to gamble, the only plan he had was that he had £200 “to lose” as he put it. Coming from a man who hardly ever pays his bills on time, this is a funny statement in itself! So he began playing the slot machines at Winner.com and he had a few losing spins as you would expect but he was soon banking some fairly decent wins. Half an hour later, after some very handsome wins, he had over £1000 in his account!
So did he do what I would have done, and bank this wonderful 5 to 1 win ratio of cash? Is the Pope a Catholic? Well yes he is, but he didn’t bank the cash, of course not, this is John we are talking about! Instead he decided that he was just under gamble like mad pressing any buttons on any games that he could find, and if he got down to £500 in his account he would walk away at that point. Not actually that bad as ideas go, pretty good for him in fact.
So on he played, without a clue what he was really doing, and he did have some big losses taking him down near enough the 600 mark. But then what happened? Will I told you he’s a jammy git didn’t I?! Well he carried on and hit a big jackpot didn’t he. Well I thought, as he was telling me this wonderful story, surely he walked away with his £2000 jackpot? Did he ****!!! He carried on playing. £2000 came down near enough 1500, right before he won another jackpot on a different machine, netting himself an incredible £6000+!!!
So a few days later once he knew the money was back on his credit card, he gets in his car goes to a local bike shop and buys the bike had his eye on for months but never had any idea that he would be able to actually buy it. Then he turns up at mind to boast about it. Then I write about it on my blog, to try to ease the pain I suffer from when I see such completely incapable and inept human beings like John profiting so well from their utter stupidity! I spent hours, days, weeks, months learning the art of playing poker in a strong and disciplined way, so I can earn a fraction of that per week. But in one day, with no skills whatsoever, just a bullish attitude and bit of help from Lady luck, and John is sitting on his lovely new set of wheels. I do hope I don’t sound jealous! Moi?!
NOW who is “Mr Green“? 😀